In my short time in New York I have discovered that dating, like almost all aspects of my life, is different here, too.
New Yorkers are busy people, that is true. If they are more busy than inhabitants of other metropolises, I cannot definitively say. I can say I certainly feel "busier" than I ever did in Atlanta. Evenings are quickly booked, often weeks in advance. Good friends are seen only once every few weeks. In a blink, it can be three months since I last saw my good college friend, the one I was excited about seeing on a regular basis once I moved to New York.
New Yorkers work later, and most of us cannot zip around in a car racking up errands and visits with friends in an evening. Often, an evening can only fit one event, be it gym, drinks with friends, meetings, or trips to the grocery store. Lay those events linearly across the calendar, and suddenly you find your nights and weekends booked up until late May.
As a result, when it comes to fitting in a new person via the dating scene, it can often take some time. If one or the other person has to cancel last minute due to work, personal conflicts, or whatever, that can put the date off another month. That doesn't even take into account the second date...soon, there can be weeks between dates. That frequently results in the initial excitement wearing off, and the relationship delving into the electronic dustbin I call the "Hope you are well" text-based relationship. You know, the one where you randomly scroll through your cell's phonebook, see a name, and send out a short, non-committal missive more out of guilt than desire. Something like "Hope you are well" or "Hope to see you soon" or just "What's up?"
Now, I guess if I stumble across "the one," I will inherently clear the calendar. In the meantime, dating continues to be appointment-based and spread out. It is an experience that makes me feel like I have several pans in the fire, so to say, but nothing boiling up. A constant simmer.
Upon sharing this observation with a friend, he came up with the perfect name. Low-flame dating.
