I think I may have had my first panic attack Friday night. As some friends had gathered for my final night in Atlanta and were waiting on me to join them, I got really stressed out about not being completely packed, about whether or not I would sell my condo in Atlanta sooner rather than later, and about all the feelings of moving in general. I got kind of ill and ended up not meeting them out (sorry again, guys).
After several weeks of good-byes, I think I had good-bye fatigue. I am not a fan of saying good-bye.
Starting a new job in a new city reminds me of the first day of school when you were young. New clothes, new people, new things to learn. You find yourself wondering "Will they like me?" "Will I like them?"
I cannot remember the last time I laid out my clothes for in the morning. Yes, I can, it was third grade. Is all of life really a repeat of what you experienced in grade school?
I am now in San Francisco for orientation for the New Company. At breakfast for one in a restaurant down the street from my hotel, I found myself staring at all the clusters of friends laughing and talking and looking so happy and plural. I thought of my friends, probably at Einstein's or Joe's in Atlanta, doing the same. And I missed them. Then I headed to Rite Aid to get some toiletries, and what was playing on the in-store music system but Ray Charles' "Georgia"
Georgia, Georgia
No Peace, no peace I find
Just this old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind.
I mean, really, could any worse of a song come on? I just stood in the shampoo isle and got a bit sentimental.
I returned to the hotel to an email from my new boss inviting me to dinner at her house tonight to watch the MTV Video Music Awards.
We had some good steak and wine, and good laughs at Britney Spears (and at our "getting- older" selves for not knowing many of the nominees---who is Cee-lo, anyway?). The evening was just what I needed: some wonderful and familiar company, and some good laughs.
Driving home, a real sense of peace came over me. Moving and leaving is stressful, but deep inside, I know it is all going to be just fine.
After all, I made it through third grade...
